I Send You into the World

To my child, with love that will outlive me.

I am writing this as a testament to my thoughts and feelings for you, my child, so that you may return to it throughout your life, especially when I am no longer with you in this world.

As I write these words I want you to know, above all else, that you are loved by God and by your parents, with the realization that God's mercy is always available to a contrite heart [1]. Life is a journey filled with joys and trials, and I pray that you will always walk it with courage, faith, and a heart open to charity. Remember that you are never alone; God is with you in every step you take [2], guiding you, comforting you, and strengthening you in moments of doubt. Let your family be your foundation, your faith a compass [2b], your hope an anchor, and your love for others in your daily thoughts.

I hope that these thoughts and words will serve as a guiding light of wisdom along your path. They are not rules meant to burden, but a gift I give you from my heart - a guide for you to live with integrity, virtue, and purpose. May they help you grow closer to God, honor your family [2c], serve others, and face the world with courage and true joy. Live boldly, love deeply, and always trust in the goodness of God. My greatest prayer for you is that you flourish in all that is good, and that your life shines as a testament to faith, hope, and love [2d], ending in a good Judgment - the Salvation of your soul.

Spiritual Foundation

Above all else, seek first the Kingdom of God and His justice, and trust that all else that is necessary He will give to you [2e]. The spiritual dimension of your being is the most critical part of who you are. In this chaotic world, keep God at the center of your life, nourishing your soul with prayer and devotion, and you will find joy. Remember the purpose of life is to become a saint [2f]. Enjoy the innocent pleasures God gives to you - as the gifts they are, but never lose sight that this world is not your final home - He has given it to you for your spiritual benefit - allowing you to increase in merit, which in turn will increase your glory. Whether your path leads you to marriage, religious life, or another vocation, keep the spiritual aspect as the backdrop of your life, relying on God, for He expects your trust and desires your dependence upon Him.

Seek spiritual direction, receive the sacraments frequently, and make time for meditation and retreats. Place your concerns before Christ, His Queen Mother, the Angels and Saints and Holy Souls - with confidence and trust. Quiet moments of meditation are essential for remaining in a state of grace. Remember the words of Saint Padre Pio: Pray, hope, and don't worry [2g]. God's grace is abundant, overflowing - ask for it persistently and you will receive.

Parental Impact

Know that love endures all things [2h], especially when personalities clash or misunderstandings arise. If we, your parents, have ever failed you or have given a bad example, accept our apologies and know that we have always loved you and desire what is best for you - what is best is always what God desires [2i], so we pray for His Will to be done. The virtues and even the faults you carry may have, in part, come from us - which we try to amend after realization, but know that our love for you is constant, unconditional and enduring.

Education, Self-Learning

Never feel limited to only what is taught in schools. Much of your life will be spent learning on your own, guided by curiosity and necessity. Good teachers are rare and a great gift, and many of the greatest Saints and thinkers were self-taught. You have the capability to learn and grow - what matters most is your attitude and your drive. Embrace every opportunity to learn, both formally and informally, and let your education be a lifelong pursuit. The accumulation of knowledge is a treasure that will serve you well throughout your life, which also may be beneficial to others. The end should never be just for the sake of knowledge but for the love of truth and the betterment of yourself and those around you. Remember that it is possible to always be learning but never truly arrive at wisdom or truth [2j]. Let your pursuit be not just for knowledge, but for wisdom and truth. To "know, love and serve" is a guiding principle that will lead you to a fulfilling life. To serve others is to find true joy. With regards to your "neighbor," always remember the commandment to love and serve them as yourself. You cannot serve well without love, you cannot love well without knowledge. So serve one another by charity; and let your charity abound in knowledge.

Dependence and Independence

Throughout your life you will always have support available to you. As you grow you will become more independent from us, your parents and family, but remember that your dependence on God will/should never diminish [2k] . The more humble you are, the more you will realize how much you need Him. Seek help when you need it, and do not be afraid to rely on those who love you. Remember work is expected on your part, not just relying on the charity of others. Although you will become more independent, always cherish the support and love of your family, for they are your first teachers and your lifelong gift. Keep that bond strong, which can be weakened by anger and pride, looking more to help than to be helped. For those who love give more than they ever expect to receive.

As you mature, your responsibilities will increase. Do not be afraid or overwhelmed by this. God gives the grace you need - ask for it, and ask for much. When faced with choices, do not simply choose what is easy versus what is hard, but what is right. Trust that you are never alone in your struggles.

Maturity, Perspective and Decision-Making

The journey from adolescence to adulthood is long and unique for each person. Maturity is not easily defined, as it involves relationships, mental growth, independence, fulfilling your duties, and learning to prioritize these and other aspects of life. Remember that you are made of body, mind and soul, and must balance the needs of each. As you interact with more people, your influence will grow - be mindful of your words and actions, virtues and vices, for they affect not only you and your soul, but impact those around you. Adulthood brings with it a wider horizon of possibilities - freedom, choices, hope, duty, and responsibility. Remember, you cannot have freedom without duty, accepting it reflects integrity, while rejecting it undermines it. Discipline, integrity, and resolve will be tested as you grow. Your influence on others will increase, and the virtues and vices you cultivate will define the person you become.

You will face many changes in life; from childhood to adulthood, from one vocation to another. Many times you will not know what lies ahead, so celebrate each achievement and trust that God is guiding you. It was once said that "good luck is where preparation meets opportunity". Keep an eye on what may lie ahead and have the foresight to prepare accordingly.

Reflect on your goals and priorities, and remember that prayer and spiritual guidance are essential in every decision. Having a Spiritual Director can be of great help. Be open to conversations with those of like mind, morals and values, particularly those from the same household of faith. These conversations can provide valuable insights and support, and can lead to friendship or a circle of others who share your beliefs - with the potential of a life long bond.

Take time to look back on your life as if from a distance. See the love, virtues, and family bonds that have shaped you. Look past the annoyances and petty conflicts to recognize how greatly you have been loved and are blessed. Treasure your memories, for they will bring you joy in later years and may guide your future decisions. Make those decisions with prudence, embracing the excitement and opportunities that life brings.

As you approach important decisions, you will find your options narrowing - this is natural and not a cause for worry. Whether you are choosing a college, a career, or a spouse, let your choices be prudent and well thought out. Be passionate about what is good, but always temper zeal with moderation.

Discipline

To fulfill your responsibilities, you must be organized and competent. Life will present you with multiple, sometimes competing, goals. Set clear objectives and take practical steps to achieve them. Know what is expected of you, make a plan, and execute it with diligence and perseverance.

Finally, remember that wisdom is putting first things first - a rare and precious virtue. After God, let your family come next, and yourself last. Do not be easily swayed by the opinions of others, but seek to please God above all. Make your plans thoughtfully, seek help when needed, and consider how your choices will shape your life in the years to come.

Perfection

Strive to be perfect as your Heavenly Father is perfect. This is not a call to impossible flawlessness, but to continual growth in virtue and holiness. Each day, examine your conscience honestly and seek to improve, step by step. Critique yourself first, recognizing your own faults and strive to overcome them with God's grace. When you see faults in others, do not criticize to tear them down or make fun of them, but to prudently correct with charity, always seeking their good and growth. Correction should be offered with humility and love, not to gossip about, mock, or make fun of someone, and never with ridicule or harshness. Remember, true perfection is found in charity, humility, and the sincere desire to help others become better, as you yourself strive to grow in holiness.

Relationships

Recognize the different people in your life - God first, then family, followed by country, friends, teachers, co-workers, and others - and give each the care and attention they deserve in their proper order. Your family is a gift from God; treat them with reverence and remember that you are deeply loved, even when it is not spoken aloud. We, your parents, desire your happiness and what is best for you in all circumstances, and we pray that every relationship you choose strengthens, rather than divides, the family God gave you. Your actions reflect on your faith, your guardian angel, your family, and your country. Keep in touch with your spiritual family, the Church Triumphant and Suffering, and choose your closest friends with care, knowing that God brings people into your life for a reason - but never allow friendships or romantic interests break the bond of family that God has ordained.

The relationships you form are vital for both your spiritual and temporal well-being, and they must be rightly ordered: God first, family second, country third, then friends and potential marriage partners (who eventually are part of family). Nurture those that bear good fruit (3a) , and always strive to develop charity in all your interactions, remembering that true charity protects the family God entrusted to you. The world suffers from a lack of charity - be the one who spends self for God and neighbor, especially for your family, who must never be displaced by outside influences. Show gratitude, kindness, and fraternity to all, remembering that in serving others, you serve Christ Himself. Let love guide your actions, and do not be afraid to express your feelings to those whom you love, especially your family, for this strengthens the bonds that must remain unbroken throughout your life.

Friendships should be chosen with prudence, since those we associate with shape our character and moral direction (3b 4 5). True friendship is proven by fidelity and perseverance, especially in times of trial, and is marked by a closeness that surpasses the casual acquaintance (6 7). Such friends seek not to flatter, but to strengthen one another through honest correction and mutual growth in virtue (8 9), and good friends will respect your family, your faith, and your responsibilities. Harmful associations must be avoided lest they lead one into sin or cause disorder by placing outsiders above your family (10). Our Lord elevates friendship by revealing it as an expression of sacrificial love, calling His disciples friends and commanding them to love through self-giving (11). He further teaches that friendship requires patience, mercy, and forgiveness, and extends those beyond your immediate circle through acts of charity (12) 13). Be alert to those "friends" who are corrupting influences; instead build one another up in holiness through encouragement, prayer, and mutual accountability (14) (15) (16). Be leery of disordered attachments to the world which can place one in opposition to God (17). Thus, friendship is rooted in charity, ordered toward truth, and fosters salvation - and rightly ordered friendships and future marriage must support, not fracture, the family God entrusted to you (18).

Perseverance

There is a hope that Easter offers to every heart that has known suffering: though the darkness is real, it is not the end for those with faith. There are seasons in life when we find ourselves standing in our own Good Friday - moments when everything feels lost, when the future is uncertain, when God seems distant and the answer to your prayers seems to be silence. In such times, it is easy to believe that the darkness will never lift.

Yet when life feels heavy, when hope seems far away, and when prayers appear to go unanswered, you are not in a place unfamiliar to Christ... He has been there. He has walked the path of sorrow, endured betrayal, and entered into silence. The Cross reveals that God does not remain distant from human suffering; He enters fully into it by His Passion, He suffers with us.

These dark nights, then, are not signs of abandonment. Often, they are the hidden places where God is quietly drawing you closer to Himself - purifying faith and deepening love in ways you cannot (yet) see. The Resurrection stands as the enduring promise that no matter how long or dark the night, the dawn will come. It assures us that God's love is stronger than death, that His mercy surpasses your sins, and that His grace can restore even the most broken hearted (i.e., Job).

In the midst of your deepest trials, there remains a light that cannot be extinguished - the light of God's love, victorious over sin and despair. When you face struggles, remember that you do not walk alone. Christ walks beside you, offering strength, grace, and hope. Do not give up; do not be afraid. Endure your cross and pray for the Grace to bear it. Continue to pray, to hope, and to trust in God's providence. The victory has already been accomplished; you are simply called to hold fast to it with faith and perseverance.

For those with faith, the darkness of Friday will yield to the light of Easter morning.

Authority & Order

Summary: Practice the virtue of Obedience by respecting and obeying lawful authority. This action recognizes that all authority is ordained by God. Be subject to rightful superiors, accept correction with humility, lead others by good example, fulfill your promises and obligations, and maintain discipline in your household. This is the primary means by which Religious will sanctify their souls, but it is also a powerful means for lay people to grow in virtue and holiness. Obedience is not just about following rules; it is about recognizing God's order in the world and our place in it. By practicing obedience, we align ourselves with God's will and open ourselves to His grace, which can transform us into saints.

Be in the World But Not of the World

Summary: Avoid conformity with worldly ways and thinking, use material things without attachment, and keep holiness and virtue your priority. My father used to say "Hold the things of the world with a loose hand". Do not seek praise or honors from men, stand firm against temptation and popular immorality - do not run with the crowd - and keep death and eternity in your constant awareness.

Be Not Afraid

Summary: Do not be afraid to live boldly for God, even in the face of trials, suffering, or opposition. Trust in God's providence and protection, stand firm in defending truth and virtue, and let love cast out all fear. Do not be intimidated by worldly opinion or ridicule, but have confidence that God is with you in every circumstance.

Charity (to your Neighbor)

Summary: Honor your duties to others by giving generously according to your means, praying for both the living and the dead, and keeping good company while avoiding harmful influences. Act with charity by gently correcting sinners, comforting the afflicted, patiently enduring wrongs, and forgiving offenses promptly and sincerely.

Character and Virtue

Summary: Strive to live with genuine virtue, allowing charity to guide all your actions. True strength, as St. Thomas Aquinas teaches, is not found in outward displays of force or passionate aggression, but in the soul's ability to hold firm to the good amidst difficulties. The appearance of strength is not its substance; genuine strength is an ordered soul governed by the virtues. Endurance - especially in the face of adversity - is more challenging and more praiseworthy than mere aggression, for it requires holding firm against evil without relying on passionate impulses. Aquinas warns against the vice of effeminacy (mollities), which is not gentleness or tenderness, but the inability to endure hardship: the soft man abandons the pursuit of good when the path becomes difficult, yielding to small pressures rather than persevering. The path to true manliness and virtue involves patient endurance of small humiliations, fidelity in unseen labors, silence when speech would only defend the ego, and prayer maintained even when consolation is absent. This slow, consistent effort forms the habit of an ordered soul. Cultivate patience, humility, and meekness (yes, manliness includes this virtue, viz, Christ), remaining faithful in small duties and tenacious in truth. Detach yourself from wealth and honors, endure contradictions and humiliations with patience, and value being good over merely appearing good. Strength should not threaten, unless it is in the defense of the weak, the innocent, or the truth. The virtues - prudence, justice, fortitude, temperance, faith, hope, charity, and humility - are essential for genuine character and true masculinity.

Daily Duty and Work

Summary: Sanctify your daily work and duties by offering them to God, doing small things with great love, and persevering even when tasks are difficult. Fulfill your responsibilities diligently and punctually, working as if for God rather than for men.

Discipline and the Interior Life

Summary: Cultivate self-discipline by guarding your senses, mortifying your passions, and practicing fasting and penance. Avoid curiosity and distractions, maintain recollection throughout the day, and examine your intentions before acting. Work diligently, resist idleness (useless activities), and practice thoughtful speech by listening more than you speak.

Do Good, Avoid Evil

Summary: Let conscience guide your every action, rejecting occasions of sin and temptation. Practice virtue daily in small and large matters, choosing acts that help others and glorify God. Resist compromise, especially when convenient. Forgive, help, and instruct your neighbor in charity. Regularly examine your motives to ensure they are pure.

Faith and Apostolate

Summary: Be a witness to the faith by teaching and defending it, never compromising truth for peace, and being ready to give reason for your hope. Instruct the ignorant when possible, stand firm in times of persecution, live your faith openly and without shame, and pray for the conversion of souls. Your example is your most powerful way to preach to others, so let your life be a testament to the beauty and truth of the Catholic faith. Do not be afraid to share your beliefs, but always do so with charity and respect for others. You are called to be a light in a dark world, shining with the love of Christ and drawing others to Him through your words and actions.

God and Eternal Perspective

Summary: Keep your eyes fixed on eternity and the things of God, with a desire for heaven above all else. Trust fully in His providence, "do good: let him seek after peace and pursue it:" --1 Peter 3:11, and faithfully persevere in grace until the end. This will help you navigate the challenges of life with grace and purpose.

God - Family - Country

Summary: Honor God above all things, love and defend your family spiritually and materially, serve your country justly and faithfully. Keep family prayer and devotions central at home, be an example of virtue for those around you, support institutions and laws that uphold morality, and remember the interconnected duties of faith, family, and civic life. Befriend those who share your values and beliefs, and be a witness to the faith in your community. Your family is your first responsibility, but you also have a duty to contribute to the common good of society. By living out your faith in both your family and your country, you can be a powerful force for good in the world and help build a culture of life, love, and virtue.

Live Each Day as if it Were Your Last

Summary: Keep the brevity of life and the certainty of death in mind to inspire a life of purpose and virtue. Do not delay acts of goodness, reconciliation, or spiritual growth, but live each day with intention, offering it to God and striving for holiness. Let the awareness of eternity shape your daily choices and priorities.

Manliness vs Effeminacy

Summary: True manliness, according to Saint Thomas Aquinas, is not found in the outward display of force or passionate aggression, but in the soul's ability to endure and hold firm to the good amidst trials. The vice of effeminacy (mollities) is not gentleness or tenderness, but the inability to persevere in the pursuit of good when the path becomes difficult, usually manifesting itself with the exterior of strength. Genuine strength is the substance of an ordered soul governed by the virtues, especially fortitude and endurance. Endurance is more challenging and praiseworthy than aggression, as it requires holding firm against evil without relying on, or giving in to, the impulses of the passions. The path to true manliness involves patient endurance, fidelity in unseen labors (God knows), humility in the face of small humiliations, and perseverance in prayer - even/especially when consolation is absent. These habits form the foundation of an ordered and virtuous soul.

Prayer and Devotions

Summary: Each day, offer your thoughts, words, and actions to God from the start and ending it with gratitude and repentance. Pray consistently, including the Rosary, and make frequent acts of faith, hope, and charity. Make a Spiritual Communion if unable to get to Mass. Deepen your devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary, seek the guidance of your guardian angel and patron saints, and embrace sacramentals with faith and reverence. Surround yourself with holy images to inspire and strengthen your spiritual journey.

Sacramental Life

Summary: Live a faith-filled life by devoutly receiving the sacraments, keeping Sunday holy, and assisting at Mass often with recollection and reverence. Arrive with time to still your senses and prepare your soul well for Holy Communion. When you are unable to physically receive, remain united to Christ through spiritual communions. Sustain an attentive interior life through regular examination of conscience and frequent confession. If you go to confession every two weeks you are always prepared to gain a Plenary Indulgence, which is a great help to your soul and those of your loved ones in Purgatory. The sacraments are the best means by which we receive God's grace - they are intimate encounters with Him. Approach them with faith, devotion, and reverence, and they will nourish your soul and strengthen you in your journey in this "vale of tears".

Use Your Time Well

Summary: Time is a precious gift from God; use it wisely by prioritizing prayer, virtue, and good works. Avoid idleness and frivolous distractions, plan your day with purpose and discipline, and use work and study as opportunities for sanctification. Offer even small efforts to God, reflect on death to inspire fruitful living, and maintain a balance between duty, rest, and spiritual growth.

Worldly Detachment

Summary: Cultivate detachment from worldly things by avoiding occasions of sin, fleeing vanity and excess, and using created things as means to unite yourself with God. Be in the world, but not of it, keeping death always before your eyes to maintain an eternal perspective.

Footnotes

  1. (1) "A sacrifice to God is an afflicted spirit: a contrite and humbled heart, O God, thou wilt not despise ." Psalms 50:19) ↩
  2. (2) "Behold I am with you all days, even to the consummation of the world. " Matthew 28:20) ↩
  3. (2b) "The just man liveth by faith." Roman 1:17) ↩
  4. (2c) "But if any man have not care of his own, and especially of those of his house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." 1 Timothy 5:8) ↩
  5. (2d) "And now there remain faith, hope, and charity, these three: but the greatest of these is charity." 1 Corinthians 13:13) ↩
  6. (2e) "Seek ye therefore first the kingdom of God, and his justice, and all these things shall be added unto you." Matthew 6:33) ↩
  7. (2f) "For this is the will of God, your sanctification..." 1 Thessalonians 4:3) ↩
  8. (2g) "Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid." John 14:27) ↩
  9. (2h) "Charity is patient, ..... Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things" 1 Corinthians 13:4-7) ↩
  10. (2i) "...how much more will your Father who is in heaven, give good things to them that ask him..." Matthew 7:11) ↩
  11. (2j) "Ever learning, and never attaining to the knowledge of the truth" 2 Timothy 3:7) ↩
  12. (2k) "In all thy ways think on him, and he will direct thy steps" Proverbs 3:6) ↩
  13. (3a)"By their fruits you shall know them. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles. Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit, and the evil tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can an evil tree bring forth good fruit. Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit, shall be cut down, and shall be cast into the fire. Wherefore by their fruits you shall know them." Matthew 7:16-20 ↩
  14. (3b) "He that walketh with the wise, shall be wise: a friend of fools shall become like to them." Proverbs 13:20 ↩
  15. (4) "The just is a guide to his neighbour: but the way of the wicked deceiveth them." Proverbs 12:26 ↩
  16. (5) "Blessed is the man who hath not walked in the counsel of the ungodly." Psalm 1:1 ↩
  17. (6) "A friend loveth at all times: and a brother is proved in distress." Proverbs 17:17 ↩
  18. (7) "There is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother." Proverbs 18:24 ↩
  19. (8) "Better are the wounds of a friend, than the deceitful kisses of an enemy." Proverbs 27:6 ↩
  20. (9) "Iron sharpeneth iron, so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." Proverbs 27:17 ↩
  21. (10) "Make no friendship with an angry man... lest perhaps thou learn his ways." Proverbs 22:24-25 ↩
  22. (11) "Greater love than this no man hath... I have called you friends." John 15:13-15 ↩
  23. (12) "If thy brother sin against thee... forgive him." Luke 17:3-4 ↩
  24. (13) "Which of these... was neighbour to him that fell among robbers?" Luke 10:33-37 ↩
  25. (14) "Evil communications corrupt good manners." 1 Corinthians 15:33 ↩
  26. (15) "Consider one another, to provoke unto charity and to good works." Hebrews 10:24-25 ↩
  27. (16) "Confess therefore your sins one to another: and pray one for another." James 5:16 ↩
  28. (17) "The friendship of this world is the enemy of God." James 4:4 ↩
  29. "Be kind one to another; merciful, forgiving one another." Ephesians 4:32 ↩

Terminology

Mollities A moral weakness that weakens firm ethical principles and can lead to subjective views of right and wrong. ↩